Moving? Well maybe???

So I just got done writing a 5 page letter to my family trying to explain how I am feeling. I do not know if I will ever have the courage to hand it to them or not. I said almost everything I have been needing to say. I wasn't angry or mad. I tried my best to be as loving and considerate of feelings as possible. I tried to look at both sides of the situation and show that. I know that it made me feel better just to get it out and on the screen. I am going to print it and let my husband read it in the morning and see what he says.

Today, well yesterday now with the time was actually an extremely hard day for me. It was an anniversary of sorts. Not a good one and we will leave it at that. I have been trying to decide for a while now if leaving home, my home town, not my family, is the right thing to do. I have lived here almost my whole life. I was born here and really lived here most of my life. I just feel like there is nothing left. I have been to other places and I have seen places I would never want to live and places I would love to live. Some of those places will have to wait until the children are grown and gone on their own but still places I would like to live. For now I am trying to decide if I leave where will I go? And if I go will my problems follow me? Will moving be enough to make me feel like I have a fresh start and I can really be at peace with my decision? I am afraid I will feel like I am running away? When will it feel like I have done enough to put all my old issues to bed for good? When will it ever be enough?